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In this blog, I intend to reflect on how our choices about our bodies represent freedom and autonomy in the face of systems and contexts that limit the decisions of women and childbearing people. Stay; we can have interesting conversations.
Are women allowed to choose over their bodies?
“Women are women because they cannot do this or that or the other, and this, that and the other is wrapped in a nebulous and vague term.” This phrase, written by Rosario Castellanos in her thesis on female culture1 answers this question very well. However, to argue the answer, we need to talk about patriarchy.
Patriarchy can be understood as a system of relationships based on the domination of men over women, daughters, and sons. Being dominated by a system, our being and acting are not 100% free will, but for centuries, we have fought against the system, and over time, we are acquiring freedoms.2
How does patriarchy control the lives and choices of women? Patriarchy is made up of certain elements that allow the oppression and subjugation of their bodies, which can be divided into:2
- Symbolic. When we find ourselves in a society dominated by Judeo-Christian morality, the sexual repression of women is a mechanism of subjugation, imposing mandatory heterosexuality and limiting sexuality only to its reproductive function, perpetuating the idea that motherhood is the culmination of femininity.
- Of economic domination. The patriarchal economic system divides work into productive and reproductive, attributing the former to men and the latter to women. Productive work has a monetary value; reproductive work does not have it and therefore leaves women economically unable if they dedicate themselves only to raising daughters and sons.
- Of political domination. The patriarchal public/private binary constructs men as societal decision-makers while relegating women to invisibilized reproductive labor. This hierarchy normalizes derogatory narratives (e.g., domestic slurs or the infantilization of female leaders) to reinforce political exclusion.
- Of social domination. Patriarchy assigns gender roles to each sex and creates stereotypes around women and men that we end up accepting, facilitating the idea that men are independent and women are dependent.
- With these examples, we can get an idea of how motherhood seems to sound like an obligation and why there is a constant struggle against the imposition of roles and stereotypes that limit the decisions of women and childbearing people. Telefem and similar groups are lifelines, they ensure abortion access, normalize the choice against motherhood, and challenge the patriarchal framing of women as incubators.
Bodily Decisions: The Invisible Rules That Dictate Your Choices
All societies are structured and build their culture around the sexual differences of their members. This determines the destiny of these people by attributing characteristics and meanings to the actions that some and others must perform.
One of the gender roles that has cost the female and pregnant population the most throughout history is that of a mother-caregiver. Not only because of the severe limitation of their possibilities of developing independently of their biological functions but also because of the damage to their physical and psychic integrity that this can cause from the health complications derived from pregnancy, childbirth (in some cases), and poorly performed abortions, to the affectation of emotional well-being originated by the judgments and criminalization of specific actions related to the “poor exercise of reproductiveness,” for example, abortion.2
In addition, motherhood is surrounded by myths and idealizations that are pretty convenient for the patriarchal system, which results in stereotypes of “good” and “bad” mothers, the latter being all those women who do not accept with devotion and love the mandates “corresponding” to their gender, or all those who do not have the so romanticized maternal instinct. This causes them to be stigmatized, singled out, penalized, and diagnosed in various ways for failing to comply with the mandate or stereotype.2
Approaching a place that does not judge you when choosing to have a safe abortion is part of looking at reproductive decisions with well-being and health. At Telefem, you are connected with remote medical care by specialists who do not question your choices and autonomy.
Your body = your rules. Safe abortion access is the truth in practice.
You are not free when you cannot make decisions about what you do with your own body. You are not free when you cannot decide what you do with your future. All people have the right to control their fertility and the exercise of reproductive autonomy. This is especially important for all women, girls, and people who can become pregnant. When a person is denied access to have a safe abortion because it is penalized or due to restrictive laws and other barriers, their ability to exercise reproductive autonomy and enjoy their human rights is diminished.3
In this sense, it is possible to understand abortion as an act of resistance and not submission to motherhood as a destiny; this decision that is crossed by the exercise and defense of freedom and autonomy, not only of one’s own, but on many occasions, collective.
Safe abortion is an act of choice by women and pregnant people that is in direct opposition to patriarchy since it violates the set of mechanisms it possesses as a system to stand up.2
Altering the established order causes violent and undesirable reactions because, as incredible as it may seem, at present and in a society like the Mexican one, there is nothing more terrifying than a free woman who decides for herself and without external pressures what she wants to do, not only with her body, but with her life.2
Your body, your reality; no one else’s opinion carries the weight of your lived experience.
Of course, men have the right to fatherhood. This right is protected in article 4° of the Constitución Política de los Estados Unidos Mexicanos, which states that everyone has the right to decide on their reproduction. This means we can freely be informed about the number of offspring, when to have them, and with whom. However, it is crucial to understand that human rights cannot fight each other.
Let’s remember “that my rights begin where yours end.” The right to fatherhood cannot be above the right of women to decide over their bodies and lives. When a man wishes to exercise his right to fatherhood freely and consciously, as a first condition, he must propose it and negotiate it with the person with whom he would like to reproduce. Eventually, the other person will decide whether or not they agree because they also have the right to choose whether or not they want to have children and with whom.
So you can’t be forced to get pregnant or to carry a pregnancy that you don’t want to fulfill the right of men to fatherhood, in the same way, that a man who doesn’t want to be a father cannot be forced to impregnate a woman who wants to be a mother.4
Now that we have compiled this information on why it is vital to consider the decisions of women and people with the capacity to gestate, you must know that remote medical care exists, where a health professional can provide you with guidance and information regarding a safe abortion at a distance. At Telefem, we connect you with specialists to offer advice and a Telefem kit with everything you need to exercise your rights.
Found this helpful? For more on reproductive health and safe abortion, visit our blog—get all your questions answered. See you there!
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* This content is for informational purposes only and does not replace professional medical advice and applies only to Mexico’s law and context.
References:
1. Chirino D, et al. 2020. El patriarcado fomenta la desigualdad de género en nuestra sociedad. Revista UNAM Global. [Visit December 2024]. [Internet]. Available at: https://unamglobal.unam.mx/global_revista/el-patriarcado-fomenta-la-desigualdad-de-genero-en-nuestra-sociedad/
2. González-Cortez IN. 2024. La penalizacion del aborto como violencia feminicida. En: Derechos reproductivos: reflexiones interdisciplinarias (libro impreso). UNAM. Pág: 229-251. [Visit December 2024]. [Internet]. Available at: https://www.torrossa.com/en/resources/an/5749211
3. Amnistía internacional. 2022. Derecho al aborto. Blog. [Visit December 2024]. [Internet]. Available at: https://www.amnesty.org/es/what-we-do/sexual-and-reproductive-rights/abortion-facts/
4. Balance A.C. 2020. Balance A.C. 2020. Ella decide, yo la respaldo y estoy presente. ¿Qué pueden hacer los hombres junto a las mujeres durante el proceso de aborto? Folleto impreso. [Visit December 2024]. [Internet]. Available at: https://www.fondomaria.org/sites/default/files/recursos/ella_decide_yo_respaldo_y_estoy_presente_0.pdf